Tagged: Craft Beer

Review: Four Quarters Brewing Co. | Equations of Time DIPA

Image uploaded from iOS-1

 

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*9.6 out of 10*

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Beerenders ’17: Shawn Beaulieu

Shawn provides us with a top-5 beers of the year list.

I got my court summons in the mail today. Mr. Bolt’s lawyers mean business. Luckily, the threatening phone calls have stopped. The silence, however, is growing more ominous every day.

Something big is coming.

5. Maine Beer Co. | Woods and Waters (American IPA)

Maine beer wnw

After my ninth Whopper® this week,  I’ve finally lost my appetite. My entire savings is being drained like a bathtub.

And all that’s left at the bottom?

4. The Alchemist Brewery | Skadoosh V (American IPA)

alchemist skadoosh

Rubber duckies with Usain Bolt’s face on them.

3. Backacre Beermakers | Golden Sour Ale

backacre

I didn’t think it would come to this. I’ll never have a family. Debt will be all consuming. And if I cannot repay? Then what? Bankruptcy? Do debtors’ prisons exist still?

2. House of Fermentology | Purple Dot (fruited American Wild Ale)

hof purple

Each second on the clock ticking sounds like distant footsteps upon a track. Reminding me of him– my muse. I cannot escape him. If I run, he will catch me. If I stay still, he will consume me.

1. Four Quarters Brewing Co. | S’mores Stout (Imperial Milk Stout)

4Q stout

Shawn has been a reader since nearly day one.

Soon, he will also become a memory.

All will become lost.

The 2 for $6 Whopper® deal shall too come to pass.

*$3.49/2 Cheeseburgers, 1 Small Fries, & 1 Small Drink*

FUUUUUCKK It’s Beerenders 2017…

On the one hand, thank God it’s the end of the year. On the other hand, it’s time for another round of this year-end best-of beer bullshit. Here’s what to expect: Stupid fucking lists of masturbatory pomp and circumstance about beverages. If you want to contribute to this dumbassed annual tradition, send your list(s) via a Facebook message. Or, if you real sneaky, slide in those Insta DMs.

Fuck this.

Here’s a picture of my two favorite boys:

usain burger

Review: Bissell Brothers Brewing Co. | Lux Rye Pale Ale

photo credit: Bissell Bros, twitter

photo credit: Bissell Bros, twitter

i’ve never committed adultery

the closest i’ve ever come

is flirting across town with two cats

in animal crossing.

 

i’ve never dabbled in that purple music.

 

that violin-laden chorus

punctuated with muted, arrogant trumpets and

spoiled with perverted

ivory keys

 

or perhaps,

maybe I’ve slid a finger or two

into the opening of a can

but not before

depositing

its contents into an unfortunate willi becher

 

reminiscing to the days of

listening to “me and mrs. jones,”

on repeat,

in a market basket,

surreptitiously

eating english muffins in the bread aisle

and drinking johnnie walker double black from

the flask

your mother got you

for christmas.

the cute grocery clerk asks you if you’re alright

passed out on the polyurethane covered tiles.

 

she doesn’t notice the crumbs

you don’t notice

she’s still in high school.

 

winters are magical.

 

the aperture captures

more than what is simply put

directly in its line of fire.

 

the work of art conveys

the true spirit of the artist

despite his silence.

 

onion beer.

stanky stanky

got that danky lanky

pepper spray

take your pants off and pray

citrus pledge wipes

smooth

yet crisp

like the junction of lips on a cold night,

before copious apologies.

 

aggressive.

as I imagined that

first

awkward kiss

with billy mays

 

to be oxy cleaned

by my oxy queen

peel the paint right off the wall.

fuck

 

oh shit

right

the beer is good.

 

*9.8 out of 10*

Review: Brasserie Dieu du Ciel! | Solstice d’été aux Framboises

Photo credit: beerism.ca

Photo credit: beerism.ca

My God, this beer smells incredible. It’s so bright and fruity! How distinctively tart, like a field of ripe red raspberries dancing in the cool breeze! The nose on this is so good I could just

Vote for Hillary Clinton.

COCAINE 2016

howard-dean

WORLDSTAR

WORLDSTAR

WORLDSTAR

WORLDSTAR

WORLDSTAR

WORLDSTAR

WORLDSTAR

*9.0 out of 10*