Beerenders: Shawn Beaulieu

Alright, ALRIGHT; here’s long-time reader and Malt Fiction subscriber “Shawn’s” top 5 beers of the year. Don’t go crazy, everybody; just calm the fuck down. We all know how important this is. We’re going to get through it:

 

5. Hermit Thrush Brewery | Jolly Abbot (Sour Belgian Barleywine, 2015 vintage)

credit: untappd.com

Sure, Bolio, pick something no one has ever heard of. You piece of shit. Oh, right, I was there when you tried that.  You still suck.

4. Maine Beer Company | Lunch IPA (American IPA)

Maine beer lunch

Eh.

3. Hill Farmstead Brewery | Arthur (Farmhouse Ale, 2015 vintage)

hf arthur

SHIT SON, YOU CAN PUT THIS BEER IN YOUR TOP 5, BUT NOT “I LOVE YOU, HONEYBEAR” BY FATHER JOHN MISTY IN YOUR TOP 10 ALBUMS? FUCK YOU.

2. Bissell Brothers Brewing Co. | The Substance Ale (American IPA)

substance ale

Okey dokey, Sam Blow, I’ll give you a pass on this one.

1. Brouwerij Rodenbach | Rodenbach Caractère Rouge (Flanders Red Ale)

Brock Rodenbach Caractere

THIS IS THE GODEL, ESCHER, BACH OF BEERS. FIGURES, BOLIO.

uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

…fuck, where was I?

Uh,

Anyway,

These are, uh, Shane Bowery’s favorite beers.

Shap hates music, I guess–

And he lives in Canada

You might as well call him Ted Cruz.

At least Ted Cruz probably likes “I Love You, Honeybear,” by Father John Misty.

Fucking idiot

Fuck you, Jane Blooey.
Now give me my money.

PLEASE free Shamu.

 

This is what I think of your top 5, Jim-

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