Craft Junk: McDonald’s McDouble (+ large fry) vs. Fiddlehead Brewing Co. Second Fiddle Double IPA

photo crud: fiddleheadbrewing.com

photo crud: fiddleheadbrewing.com

“He’s going in for the 30, Bob. –the 20, the 10… TOUCHDOWN! He’s pulling up to the drive-thru window! Look at this champion! So clear, so concise, so sure!

“I want a McDouble and a large fry.”

“OH, my goodness, Bob! Did you see that? Wow, there are certainly some folks out there who are not into the cold dip crowd!”

“Right you are, Phil.”

Are you ready to step your food game up?

Bitch, are you ready to pimp your dinner fix?

Are you ready to accommodate your eatings with all of the appropriate accoutrements?

Well then, I’d like to take a couple minutes with you to discuss the perfect paring: A McDonald’s McDouble and large fry with a can of Fiddlehead Second Fiddle. Let that one sink in.

Fiddlehead Brewing’s Second Fiddle clocks in at a mean 8.2% alcohol by volume, and it cuts right through the fat of this disgusting piece of shit of a meal. That being said, the McDouble holds its own.

It’s a strong contestant in the “fuck you, I’ll antagonize you in front of your squad and then insecurely call up my ex and try to suggest that the playa’s life is so fulfilling—‘oh wait, I didn’t know she and Dave were shacking up…’ but fuck her, I knew she weren’t loyal even before that shit… doesn’t matter, all these hoes are lining up in my house to dance to Sam Smith and drink jangle juice. I got so much pessy to go around” category.

Let’s compare.

In this corner, here is the mighty Second Fiddle. Here is a strong, double IPA, with big IBUs  (international bittering units) and a malt backbone to defend itself. In the other corner, the sumptuous McDouble: a devilish fast food sweetheart plaguing the hearts of many, many Americans. It has girth, it has beef, and it has thick, gooey, American cheese. It boasts pickles, onions, and ketchup underneath its squishy, fleshy bun. Second Fiddle doesn’t fuck around, however. It cuts like a knife through the big, fatty taste of the McDouble. The pickles linger on, but the boozy Second Fiddle answers correctly with a double dose of citrus. The fries add an extra, creamy, fatty edge to the equation, but even still, the maltiness of this double IPA fucks the shit out of this nonsense and lands a TKO upon the fast food tyrant. Honestly, The McDouble and the Second Fiddle get along pretty well. The McDouble offers a complex, fatty, salty character to the mundane fast food experience, and the Second Fiddle balances these sumptuous flavors with a measure of sweet, biscuit malt character and some intense citrus and pine flavors from the hop profile. This powerful malt character performs well against the saltiness of the McDouble and its sundry guile. Make sure you get some ketchup on your burger when you pair these two, as the ketchup adds a slightly spicy, acidic agent that brightens the flavor of the IPA. In doing so, it livens the fusel (alcohol) notes of the beer, and reminds you that you’re drinking a heavily alcoholic substance and eating fast food at 1 AM.

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