Review: The Alchemist | Focal Banger

Photo credt: the Alchemist, alchemistbeer.com

Photo credt: the Alchemist, alchemistbeer.com

OH MY FUCKING GOD
I’M JUST WAITING IN LINE TALKING ABOUT ALL THE BEERS I’VE DRANK
EACH ONE WAS BETTER THAN THE NEXT
EACH ONE WAS SO FUCKING MORE RARER THAN THE OTHER FUCKING ONE
EACH BEER WAS SO MUCH MORE BEER THAN PRECEDING BEER
INTRINSICALLY, BEER OF THIS CALIBER COULDN’T BE MORE BEER
OH, WHAT CENTENNIAL HOPS? CASCADE? COLUMBUS?
NO YOU FUCKING CRIMINAL
CITRA
AND
MOSAIC
YOU
DUMB BITCH
HOW CAN YOU DRINK BEER WITH YOUR COMPLETE
FUCKING
LACK
OF
KNOWLEDGE
I KNOW ALL ABOUT BEER
NOBODY DRINKS BETTER BEER THAN ME
I’VE WAITED ALL FUCKING DAY IN THIS GODDAMNED LINE
I’VE BEEN INSTAGRAMMING THE FUCKING CLOUDS
I’M IN THE RAIN
IT’S FUCKING VERMONT
LOOK AT THE GODDAMNED MOUNTAINS
I BROUGHT A TENT
MY FIANCE LOVES BEER
MY FIANCE IS BEER
I MUST RAKE IN A FUCKING FORTUNE TO BUY ALL THE BEER I BUY
LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT ALL THE BEER I JUST DRANK
OH YEAH, LAST BATCH OF FOCAL BANGER WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS PIECE A SHIT
THIS SUCKS
IT DOESN’T TASTE JUST LIKE THE OTHER BATCH
BUT ITS MORE LIKE THE PREVIOUS BATCH IF IT WERE A COMPLETE REITERATION, IMITATING ITSELF, MIRRORED AND DISSECTED, A POSTULATION OF A SIMILAR SEMBLANCE, BUT TOTALLY SEPARATE
YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? IT’S KINDA THE SAME FUCKING THING BUT DEFINITELY DIFFERENT. LIKE EVERYTHING SUCKS NOW, MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE SAME BEER I HAD WHEN I HAD IT. SO I’M SORT OF BETTER THAN YOU
LIKE IT HAD A
WYTE HEAD
AND
FUCKN
SPARSE LACING
DAMN
LIKE SO CLOUDY
GOLDEN, YELLOW, ORANGE, YELLOW
SO GORGIS
BITCH
CREAMSICLES
PINE
PINEABBLS
MANGOES
FLOWERS
FLOWERS
FLOWERS
FLOWERS
HONEY
MANGOS
CARMLES
ITIALIAN SOURDOES
SOOOOO HOPPS
MALT KINDA
BBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
FEELS GREAT BETTER THAN YOU, BETTER THAN BEER
YOU SUCK,
I’M THE BEST AT DRINKING BEER
BUYING BEER IS SO FUN
I CAN WAIT IN LINE LONGER THAN YOU
I’M GONNA LVIE FORECDVRE
WATERBURY
FCKN
VERMONT
FUCKN
BEER
VFNFNA
FDMASNDFKADSFKKADSFNMAS DFLASDF
ASDNFKNADSKLFKLADS AS
DFASDFLKASDFKLA SDF
ADSFNASKLDFKLASDKFANSDF ASDKFNASDFKJNASKDFASD
ANSDFLAF]A
DFASDFADSFNASDF AWEJANEKNGKRAJNFLE;LAN F AKLAEMRKELRNA EWRNANER AEWRLKAER AWERNALERKLADSFADSMLASD’[FNASFADSFADFADSFASDFASDJNGOJ RBGARLFNORNOINKRNASDLFKJMPVNLAPFDALDSF

KL;SAD;L

 

*10 out of 10*

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